How to Turn Small Talk Into Real Connection
Let’s be honest, networking can be awkward. Walking into a room full of people you don’t know, trying to make conversation, and hoping something deeper than, “How about this weather?” comes out of it. But here’s the thing: real relationships (the kind that leads to clients, referrals and maybe even friends) often start with a little small talk. The key is knowing how to move past the surface and well a little confidence.
It All Starts With A Name
Dale Carnegie said it best, “A person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.” It will build your rapport faster than anything, because a name is the first thing any human owned when they entered this world. And let’s not forget how embarrassing it feels to forget someone’s name, which hinders confidence.
Pro Tip: To help yourself remember a person’s name when they introduce themselves, make sure to say it back to them.
Me: “Hi, I’m Karin.”
Them: “Hello, I’m Bob.”
Me: “Lovely to meet you Bob.”
Begin With Curiosity, Not Pitching
Instead of jumping into your elevator pitch, ask thoughtful open-ended questions. Show genuine interest. People can feel when you’re just waiting for your turn to talk.
- “Are you working on anything exciting right now?”
- “What do you like about where you are from?”
- “What brought you to this event?”
- “What do you enjoy most about what you do?”
These kinds of questions open the door for stories, and stories are where the connection is made.
Look for Connection
Shift your mindset from “what can I get out of this?” to “who can I get to know today?” Real connection happens when we let go of agendas. You’ll be surprised how many people remember you simply because you made them feel seen. Also, the more you allow folks to tell you about themselves, the more they will feel like they are connected to you. Yeah, it really is that simple.
Share Something Real
Authenticity is magnetic. You don’t have to spill your life story, but don’t be afraid to share why you love what you do, or what you’re learning right now. Make sure you allow others to share the most but all connections are two-way streets. These glimpses into who you are can make a conversation memorable.
Keep the Momentum Going
Connection doesn’t stop when the event ends. Follow up! Send a quick DM or email saying, “So great to meet you. I really enjoyed our conversation about _____.” People like to feel like they are important after the fact, (there is a reason texting took off 😉). If it feels aligned, schedule a casual coffee chat or virtual meet-up to deepen the relationship.
Small talk doesn’t have to stay small, it is often the step that leads to something much larger. When you lead with curiosity, presence, and authenticity, you open the door to meaningful connections that go way beyond the name tag or even a single sale. And by all means, get out there and make those connections, didn’t you hear? People need people.
