How to personable without taking it personally

With growth comes more responsibility. This one hit me hard this year.

At every stage in business you run into problems, just at different levels and price points.

I got the opportunity to look over all my contracts, and it wasn’t just for fun, it was because they were being challenged this year.

When it was first being challenged, I went into a dark place wondering,

“How the heck did this even happen? How can somebody misunderstand me so much?”.

Sure, I could have handled things better as there is always an opportunity for improvement. I couldn’t help but think, “How can somebody be so incredibly unkind? How do I show this person how to be kind? How do I “raise the tides” in this situation?”

I care deeply about my work, my team, and my clients. I believe this dedication largely contributes to where I am today. When somebody thinks the opposite of my intentions, it is extremely challenging, one I took it personally.

And to add onto that…you know how bad things come in three? Yeah, might as well do it up right 😉

I was in this dark place for a couple of days until one of my mentors hit me over the head and woke me up. It’s not for me to teach somebody who is not asking for advice, rather I need to show up as the person I want to be. This is something I know but somehow, I got side swiped and lost footing.

When out-of-character things happen, often it is not about you but the other person

I reflected on this experience by looking at myself and how could I have done better, focusing on how I can practice on responding in the healthiest way rather than reacting. I believe in treating people with firmness to not let them walk over you yet treating everyone with kindness. Maintaining your confidence and kindness shows others that you can do strong business in a kind way.

Although in this situation I honestly wanted them to “eat glass” most of the time, it was not an easy feat! Kindness and gracefulness is much harder than lashing out at somebody. That is probably why I think kindness is so badass!

Problems are growth opportunities.

How can I do things differently and better next time?

I came out of this with clearer boundaries and guidelines around all we do.

I don’t need to go to their level, a dark place, nor is it on me to teach them unless they ask for advice.

With boundaries and guidelines, I can still be my personable self without taking it personally.

Although I must admit I’m not super excited about having so much legal stuff, I prefer the good ol’ handshake, but as I say when it comes to branding – clarity feels so good, and it really does in legal situations as well. It removes questions and confusion.

We all win.

Having clear boundaries and a lot of personality within that space works like a charm!